Awaken Into Life Blog

8 Ways to Be a Better Listener

earAre you a good listener?  Some people mistake being quiet for being a good listener.  I remember having a conversation with a woman once who was telling me that she felt that one of her best qualities was that she was a good listener.  During that exact same conversation, I noticed that while I was talking, she was very quiet.  She was so quiet in fact that her eyes became glazed over.  I knew that her mind was somewhere else completely. 

If you are “listening” but you can’t recall the gist of what the other person was saying then you might not be such a good listener.  Allowing someone to talk is a nice gesture but don’t mistake it for good active listening skills. 

Here are 8 ways to become a better listener:


  1. As someone is baring their heart to you, repeat back to them what they are saying and ask if you got it right.
  2. Don’t plan what you’re going to say while they are talking.
  3. Don’t be so quick to offer your view point or advice.
  4. Ask them how they feel about what they’ve told you.
  5. Allow their emotions to come up.  Sometimes hugging or touching them to comfort them can be dis-empowering.  Allow them the freedom to gain control of their own emotions.
  6. Release any judgment.
  7. Keep a neutral expression.  This gives them the freedom to be real.
  8. Set the intention before the conversation even begins that you are going to engage in active listening.


Watch my VEDA video about what I learned from my friend Angel about active listening.



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2 Responses to “8 Ways to Be a Better Listener”
  1. Jarrod Clark says:

    This hit home for me! Too often, I’m doing the extreme. I’m either itching to get my point of view out or I’m not investing enough attention. Your tips were very helpful. I especially liked number 1 and 7, repeat back to them making sure I get it right and keeping a neutral expression. I thought that was a really good one. Thank you for sharing, I’m new here and I will be back! *Bookmarking* 🙂

    • Trisha says:

      Welcome Jarrod! Yes, repeating back to them and asking if you got it right can be a real eye opening experience. Not only does it make us a better listener but it can give the ‘sharer’ some clarity on their issue. Glad you found the post helpful!

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